Faith is a kind of personal power you have.  You can put it in concepts and ideas in your head and make agreements with it. Or you can put your personal power of faith within your self.

A warrior refrains from the first, and does the latter.

In The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz calls it a war.  We will lose some battles, that’s okay.  It may feel like a lot, even with the perspective of the victim persona at the time, hopeless.  But it is only one battle.  A Spiritual Warrior learns not to measure progress in the war using the metrics of only one battle.

A Spiritual Warrior learns to retreat, rest, recover, learn from their actions, regroups, then stands up again to take another step on his path.

Even in the process of losing a battle, much progress is made.  The ego has pushed back, and so it is exposed, and we gain more clarity on our endeavor.  The ego can even be weakened.  At a minimum, we become more respectful of our foe, even if it is a dream.  We become more grateful of those moments that are peaceful, and even grateful of moments where we are  just holding our ground against a dream.  And with that kind of experience a number of times we embrace humility, a kind of mile marker on the journey.

Sometimes it is best for a Warrior to realize they have done their best against their emotional reactions and  inner demons of the mind, and to go rest and recover.   A warrior learns there is a time for that too as they become wise.

Sometimes it is best to rest and recover.  It will be necessary to take time to rest or you will not win many of the battles in the war for your happiness.

Dear Gary,

  Upon reading about domestication. I had this awful awareness that I will be placing these walls around my own children’s thought by using positive and negative reinforcement . I was wondering if you had any recommendations how to avoid these patterns or if there are any books out there to help .
Thank you in advance……. Concerned Parent

Dear Concerned,

This is a question I hear a lot and it often comes from a concerned parent becoming more aware of themselves, and how their actions impact their child’s emotions and beliefs that will be with them a long time.  First let’s explain the term “domestication,” which Miguel uses in his book.  It means a system of punishments and rewards used to modify other people’s behavior.  We reward kids with praise, dessert, hugs, and attention.  We punish with isolation in their room, time out, scoldings, anger, and criticism.    As we become more aware as human beings we realize that some of what we say and do to children may affect them emotionally well into their adult lives. That kind of realization makes us much more vigilant in how we use the power of  our word and emotions.

There is much more to this issue of applying the tools of the Four Agreements to your relationships,   so this is only a short overview.

First, the truth is that you have to domesticate your children.  It is best if children learn about the world of punishments and rewards of the world from people who love them.   If they don’t learn of the world of punishments and rewards from you, then the world will teach them those experiences.  If they don’t follow some basic rules,,,, then the police will eventually catch up with the.  Case in point,,, Paris Hilton.

That’s often the question as one is working through their issues of limiting beliefs, fears, emotional reactions, or sabotaging behaviors.  Always the question, “How long will it take?”

It will take a certain number of hours.  You can put those hours in early and be done sooner, or you can do just a few minutes a day of change work and have it take many years.

It’s like learning to read, dance, fly an airplane, or play a musical instrument.  All of these things will take a certain number of hours before you reach a level.  If you want to go further and master more emotional skills and more of your beliefs, it will take more hours.  The critical way to measure how long it will take is by how many hours you spend practicing, not the days or weeks of the process.  If it takes 100 hours to break through a set of limiting beliefs you can do it in 5 weeks, or you can do it in 5 years.   Either way it will take you the same number of hours.

So to answer the question about, “How long will it take before I see the changes I want?”

The answer is a certain number of hours.

This is an excerpt.  Full post at How long will it take? 

One of the challenges is that when you exposed to love, your ego will fight back. It will try to deny,  diminish, and distract you from what you feel.   Such is the nature of stories in the mind.  They don’t feed well on unconditional love and fear starving to death.

Love and Fear,,,, this is the battle ground within for the Spiritual Warrior.  It is a battle over one’s attention.  On one side is Love and all the expressions of Love.  On the other, is fear, and all the expressions of  fear.

Self awareness is a necessary trait of a warrior.  Being aware of his expressions  is how he recognizes which side he is on in each moment.

for practical steps and exercises on finding your way try the free sessions of the Self Mastery program. 

When we are young we were told where to put our attention, who to put it on, and how long to keep it there. We learned to put our attention on what other people told us to. Since adults taught us to put our attention on them, or on what they wanted to put our attention on, (school work, chores, minding our manners, following the rules, etc) by default we learned not to put our attention on our self.   We became automated to have others control our attention.

Indirectly we learned not to pay attention to our emotions, what we were feeling,  or what we wanted.

When you become an adult, and you realize that your attention is still governed by all those rules you collected, or that your mind is looking for other people to direct your attention.  You might even feel uncomfortable if it is your own hands with no one telling you what to do. You may find your self trapped with your thoughts and beliefs controlling your attention.   Realizing that you are trapped, and don’t have control over your attention is one of the first steps towards freedom.

It is only as adults that we have the opportunity to take control over our own attention, notice how we feel, and direct our life in a way we want. This is something of an opportunity not typically available to us when we were children.

Oh,,, and it will take work, and many attempts to free your attention from limiting beliefs and fears.

Such is a spiritual warriors training ground.

Specific exercises for gaining control over your own attention can be found at my Self Mastery Course at  Pathway to Happiness. 

For a more detailed explanation and understanding of  the Near Enemy issue.

How does a Spiritual Warrior fight Fear?  You fight fear with Love.

How does a Spiritual Warrior fight injustice?  You fight injustice with Forgiveness.

Winning the war going on in your own mind is easier as you develop your skills with Truth, Love, and Forgiveness.

These tools may not always work when dealing with the outside world, but they are the best tools for fighting  the fear, lies, and injustice in your own mind.

More practical steps for winning the war in your mind in the Self Mastery course on my other site.

A person’s heart never breaks. However beliefs do,,, and when they do,,, it can be emotionally painful.   When a partner cheats on us, or breaks up with us, our beliefs about who they are, what they mean to us, and beliefs about our future break. We call it heart break but it is really a disillusionment of beliefs.

From the perspective I see things from now,,, I am very grateful to the people in my life that broke my heart.   Those were the periods of my greatest awakenings from illusions.

More on this in the Relationship Course at Pathway To Happiness.com