Definition of Integrity:
the quality or state of being complete, undivided: spiritual, or
aesthetic wholeness: organic unity: completeness.
It is a simple
thing, wholeness that is undivided.
is also a very elusive quality.
is having our heart, mind and will unified. When we are in our
emotional integrity we can act without hesitation or doubt.
The phrase of, “my mind says one thing, but my heart says another”,
may be all too common in our lives.
this happens our will is divided and our actions hesitate with
conflict of doubt in the mind and emotions.
When we live our
lives from a place of Integrity we do not doubt ourselves.
There is no second-guessing our actions or our words.
Sometimes I see people try to superimpose a sense of integrity into
their decisions by refusing to consider a second opinion.
This can be the pretense of integrity in the name of not appearing weak or
not living up to our own image of what we believe we should be.
This is the ego’s version of integrity.
The mind has the desire to believe that everything we do is in our
integrity. Often we work very hard to make ourselves believe it we have
But, it is a false image of integrity. If
we have to convince ourselves that we are acting in our integrity, we are
likely to be wrong. When we are in our integrity, our mind does not have to
tell us what we are doing is right. The heart and will know and the mind follows
without a doubt. Real emotional integrity doesn't come with a sense of
being right. It comes with a feeling of love.
When we are acting
from our Integrity, what we could call our authentic self, we don’t try.
We don’t’ have a need to try.
We just take action. We
don’t concern ourselves with whether what we are doing is the right thing.
We also don’t have a need to justify or defend what we are doing to
anybody. This includes ourselves.
The action comes from the heart and is with love, that is how we know it is
true. It also comes with humility because we are acting on behalf of love
and not for ourselves or a sense of righteousness. Emotional
integrity Words don't
corrupt this authenticity with chatter in the mind.
There are not many men or women of integrity.
Most people second guess themselves. When a person with emotional integrity
makes a mistake, or fails in their endeavor, they don't judge themselves.
They know they did their best and the mind does not create an
internal conflict with self judgment. This mental conflict is a break from wholeness and
love for one's self.
The break in
integrity is the division of the mind itself.
Our mind says one thing and our mind says another thing in
contradiction with the first thing.
We look at something we did in the past and we think, “I shouldn’t
have done that.” Then we try to
justify what we did because we don’t want to accept our own judgment.
We defend what we did to ourselves.
We say to ourselves, “We’ll it really was okay because I got
(blank) out of it.” We project a negative opinion to ourselves, and then we defend
ourselves against our own opinion. We
can see that our mind is not in integrity.
When our mind is divided with conflicting thoughts then our emotions are
Often in dreams
the mind is represented as a house. It
is the structure of beliefs in which we live.
A mind that is not in Integrity is like a house divided against itself.
It cannot stand. We find
this to be true when we engage in the quest for truth.
It is frightening to face the truth because when we do, it feels like
our house of beliefs will fall. We
misinterpret this to mean that we will fall because we identify and attach so
closely with what we believe.
This is the time
for the courage of a spiritual warrior. A
warrior must have the courage to face and accept the death of their beliefs. It is with this attitude that we can let go of our house of
false beliefs. When the false
beliefs break, we find that the truth is still standing, because it can stand
on its own. The truth does not
need us to believe in it in order to survive.
After the fall of
the false belief system, we can create a new dream, based in Love and Truth.
In the ancient mythologies this is the resurrection to a new life after
death. The death is metaphorical for the
transformation of our mind and emotional state. It is like the Phoenix that is
formed from the ashes. In this process our physical body does not die.
The spiritual warrior does
this process with their bodies intact.
We need our body in order for our mind to have a place to function,
dream and create.
is the intent of the spiritual warrior to let go of their false
beliefs in order to eliminate the conflicts in the mind.
She surrenders to death
what is not the truth. She let's go
of her attachments to mental concepts that trap her in a mind of conflict.
After a person lets go of their old beliefs, they can recover their
Emotional Integrity. When we recover our emotional integrity we create a new relationship with our heart, emotions, and our
physical body. It is based completely in love. In this process we discover that we are not really what we believe we
are. We are the force that
creates all the ideas, images, and emotions of love.
We are the force that creates.
We are Life.
When you realize that you are the force of Life that moves through all things,
you exist everywhere without separation, then you have recovered your integrity.
This is a Spiritual Warriors quest. It is the quest of any one seeking
a life without conflict or suffering.
time to measure (not judge) whether you or someone you know is in their
emotional integrity is not when things are going well. It is too easy
to wear a mask and believe our story. The time to measure the depth of
your emotional integrity is when someone is challenged by circumstances.
this article I use the terms Integrity and Emotional Integrity to mean the
way to determine whether you are in your Emotional Integrity is by how quiet
the mind is during chaos. With your mind quiet you have a greater likelihood to be
present with your emotions and not be caught up in stories in the mind. A
second indicator is the amount of love present. Being in your
emotional integrity means being present with the feeling of love within
yourself almost all the time. I say almost because there are a few
exceptions where you would feel emotions other than love and still be
Happiness through Self Awareness you can find Gary's online coaching
sessions in recovering your emotional integrity from the false beliefs in
The Four Agreements