We were socialized to be anti-social.

Don’t talk to Strangers… instead fear strangers.

It’s important to be right… that means that you are probably going to alienate someone by pointing out how the are wrong.

You have to earn respect.

Happiness and feeling good comes with accomplishment.  Therefore it is not intrinsic to what and who you are.  Hold off feeling good about your self.

Lock your doors.  Be afraid.

If you do something wrong you deserve to be punished.   Not forgiven.

We learned to live by other people’s rules of punishment and reward.  When we grow up we eventually discover that living by other people’s rules doesn’t work for us anymore.

Until we understand our socialization, what don Miguel Ruiz in The Four Agreements calls Domestication, we won’t be able to change it.   The key to change is an inventory of your beliefs.