How not to take someone’s anger personally

The following is writing sent from a client as she works through the emotional drama in her relationship. In her writing you will find how she is practicing all Four Agreements.  She takes a solid inventory of what is her half and what is her husband's half.  She see's the lies of agreements as something separate from him, and from her.  She is a partner with her husband and the enemy is the emotionally wounded belief system they each carry.  She is detached from believing the words and beliefs while still being present with her emotions. Her path is to stay present with the truth, and not step into believing the lies from the voices in her head, or his. Some days she succeeds, and some days she doesn't, but each day she gets better and stronger. In this assignment, she writes about her experience and emotions from a third person perspective so that she can practice being a neutral observer of her agreements and the voices in her head.  This technique is part of the Self Mastery Course teachings.  When her husband got very angry and yelled at Theresa, she felt afraid, then angry, then sad, then hopeless. This time, when he yelled at her through the phone, Theresa held the phone away from her ear and did not listen to his rage monster/judge spewing poison at her. She knew that everything he was saying wasn't true. They were just his judge's words. The words the judge was getting from the Big Liar's book of law for his life. All lies. So she figured, "why listen to the words? They aren't true anyway and they will just tempt me to take them personally and then I'll feel sad, depressed, etc." She felt better for not hearing the actual words but she still felt hurt and afraid because she could hear the anger in his voice. She felt rejected. She felt like she felt when her mother was angry with her when she was a child. She followed that thinking and realized that when someone she loves expresses anger, especially in an aggressive way, she felt afraid, which usually turned into fear and defensive behavior followed rapidly by quilt, desperation and an obsessive need to get approval from the angry person as quickly as possible, even if that meant sacrificing her need. She remembered that her needs never seemed to be important to her parents. They were almost considered a nuisance. She felt ashamed remembering how she felt in the face of her parents' anger toward her: ashamed, not good enough, like she was a bad girl and didn't even have the right to exist, that she was seriously flawed, something was missing when she was made, she lacked whatever it is that makes people precious and valuable to others, she lacked whatever it was that made people express love and inclusion instead of anger and pushing away. She knew these messages to be lies from her personal Book of Knowledge. She knew them to be lies from her Big Liar. She realized that the Big Liar told her that she couldn't live without her parents and since their anger at her meant to her that she was being rejected by them, she felt that her life was in danger. She felt the same way when her husband wasn't happy with her - whether he was giving his time and attention to another woman, or whether he was expressing his frustration and anger toward her - she realized she felt again that it was actually threat to her physical life. 1.) She decided to break the agreements that she needed another person's love to be a valuable person. She is valuable because she is part of the perfection of creation just because God created her as perfect as every other creature and thing that he created. 2.) She broke the agreement that someone's anger means that she's bad, or broken or not quite right, or somehow ‘off.’ She realized another person's anger is their own Liar's voice possessing them, it has nothing to do with her and she chose to not take it personally. She also realized that her anger is her own Big Liar and has nothing to do with the person she’s expressing to and that person doesn’t have to take it personally either. 3.) She realized that she felt dependent on her husband for all of her life needs such as food, water, shelter, clothing as well as other, non-essentials like fun and vacations. She thought that the underlying agreement was that she can't take care of herself or her kids without an income-earning husband. She decided to break the agreement that a she can't take care of herself. She remembered that she is capable of having a job, making money, paying bills, on her own. She thought that she didn't have to rely on someone else for all those things. She remembered that she and her husband decided together after their first child was born that she would stay home with the kids because her income earning potential was less than his. They decided this together so she realized that she did not have to feel guilty about not working and supporting the family. They had decided together that it was his responsibility to be the primary bread winner and that it was primarily her responsibility to stay home and raise the kids, take care of the house, etc. She thought about today's argument. Her husband brought up that he was picking his vacation weeks today for the coming year. She asked if he could take a week off during Spring Break so that the family could take a warm weather vacation. This request struck a nerve in him and he became irate, slammed the car door and headed to work. She decided her tone of voice and demeanor were calm, albeit a little annoyed, and realized she could have done better so she called him and apologized for handling it badly and then asked the question about Spring Break again calmly and as a request for him to consider taking off a week during Spring Break if it was possible at all. This triggered a firestorm of uncontrolled ranting in him that lasted for minutes and ended with him hanging up on her. While he was expressing his anger, she had stayed calm and tried on a few occasions to apologize for making him angry and suggest they end the conversation but he talked over her, didn't calm down and hung up on her instead. She tried her best to not make an assumption about why he couldn't take Spring Break week of and instead ask him if it was or wasn’t a possibility, not to take his anger personally and to do her best and to not use her word against herself. So, she didn't listen to the Big Liar (his and her own) who tried to make her feel guilt, shame, fear, etc. She used the circumstances instead, to break the above agreements - or at least start to. She suspects that the agreement about needing a husband will take time to break and believe the new agreement - that she doesn't need a husband for survival, she wants one to share her love with She decided to do the sun meditation where she draws energy from the sun into her body, remembers the fight with herself supporting herself and gently blowing all the Big Liar's words back at it and then infusing the entire situation with love, just to try and heal herself and her husband. She also realized how hurtful angry words - the word used incorrectly, for death - can be and she resolved to try her best to never do that to her husband, or to anyone else that she loved, again. She is doing her best, and is patient with herself and her husband as they work through their emotional drama. Some days this is the journey for a spiritual warrior.  

Self Mastery Course Feedback

Hi Gary, Thank you for the follow up. I'm writing to give you some feedback. Since reading the four agreements and completing both your courses (Basic Self Mastery Series and Advanced Series), everything has changed for me. Incidentally, I found the four agreements by accident, it was a link on a website called F.O.G personality disorders for help with dealing with people like this (I've had several in my life including my mother) This help me see that continual trap I was falling into of freely loving and trusting the good in people only to my disadvantage. I struggled with the four agreements at first and I hunted the web for ways of implementing it for a while, I eventually found you and did both your Self Mastery courses. A bit about me, I am a psychiatric nurse and also a trained counselor, I'm now aware that I went into these professions not only to help other people but to heal myself. The four agreements has superseded all of my five years of training and I have healed my old wounds. I cannot put into words how much Gratitude I have for what your Self Mastery course has enabled me to do, I am Moved beyond anything I have ever felt before. What you have done is Beautiful. Thank you. It is my intention to meet you on one of your spiritual workshops / retreats and I look forward to giving you a big hug. I am currently starting to build a new life and I've decided to change professions. I'm going to be a writer I'm working on my first book now.  It’s one where all the main characters have different mental health problems. Look out for it in the next couple of years - it will be done. I've liked you on facebook, have a look through so you can see what I look like. I love you. Z. B.

Fear of Being Duped By A Spiritual Teacher

Some people write or talk to me about their hesitancy or resistance to taking steps forward on their path of discovery.  One of my favorites is:

There is a fear of being duped by a Spiritual Teacher 

Fear of being mislead by a teacher. Fear of being duped and giving away a trust in myself. What is discernment, what is judgment? When am I doing which?

I find this reasoning kind of funny.   A person is using their fear to guide their thought process away from taking actions.   Why should we trust our fears?  Isn't it usually our fears that more often mislead us in our thinking and actions? Often this kind of "fearful thinking" is called skepticism, and often by people who claim to be skeptics.  However, in this case the fear is using this tool of skepticism to be fearful of something different, and keep other fears in place by preventing action.  A more skillful use of skepticism would be to apply it to these fearful thoughts.  Until you apply skepticism to your fears, fears will use that tool of skepticism against your own emotional well being. To balance challenging your fears of a teacher, don't go leaping in with both feet towards what any teacher tells you either.  It is reasonable to be skeptical of a Spiritual teacher, or even therapist, just don't be fearful.  Take your time time getting to know them and see what they are like, and if it is a good fit for you. You might find some good guidance on evaluating a Spiritual Teacher from Jack Kornfield's book, "A Path With Heart." Chapter 16 is entitled:   You Can’t Do It Alone: Finding and Working with a Teacher          

Spiritual Warrior

A spiritual warriors path is challenging. In The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz calls it a war.  We will lose some battles, that's okay.  It may feel like a lot, even with the perspective of the victim persona at the time, hopeless.  But it is only one battle.  A Spiritual Warrior learns not to measure progress in the war using the metrics of only one battle. A Spiritual Warrior learns to retreat, rest, recover, learn from their actions, regroups, then stands up again to take another step on his path. Even in the process of losing a battle, much progress is made.  The ego has pushed back, and so it is exposed, and we gain more clarity on our endeavor.  The ego can even be weakened.  At a minimum, we become more respectful of our foe, even if it is a dream.  We become more grateful of those moments that are peaceful, and even grateful of moments where we are  just holding our ground against a dream.  And with that kind of experience a number of times we embrace humility, a kind of mile marker on the journey. Sometimes it is best for a Warrior to realize they have done their best against their emotional reactions and  inner demons of the mind, and to go rest and recover.   A warrior learns there is a time for that too as they become wise. Sometimes it is best to rest and recover.  It will be necessary to take time to rest or you will not win many of the battles in the war for your happiness.  

Love as a Change Agent

Love is a great change agent.  When you are exposed to, and experience great love, your life has a tremendous chance to change.   In the experience of love your unhappiness from a limited perspective, and beliefs in fear and lies can not survive. One of the challenges is that when you exposed to love, your ego will fight back. It will try to deny,  diminish, and distract you from what you feel.   Such is the nature of stories in the mind.  They don't feed well on unconditional love and fear starving to death. Love and Fear,,,, this is the battle ground within for the Spiritual Warrior.  It is a battle over one's attention.  On one side is Love and all the expressions of Love.  On the other, is fear, and all the expressions of  fear. Self awareness is a necessary trait of a warrior.  Being aware of his expressions  is how he recognizes which side he is on in each moment. for practical steps and exercises on finding your way try the free sessions of the Self Mastery program.   

Xanax For Sale

Xanax For Sale, We don't learn to control our attention when we are young. We have to learn to control our attention when we are adults, Xanax maximum dosage. Xanax results, When we are young we were told where to put our attention, who to put it on, Xanax images, Xanax used for, and how long to keep it there. We learned to put our attention on what other people told us to, online Xanax without a prescription. Xanax without a prescription, Since adults taught us to put our attention on them, or on what they wanted to put our attention on, buy Xanax without a prescription, After Xanax, (school work, chores, Xanax no rx, Online buying Xanax hcl, minding our manners, following the rules, Xanax canada, mexico, india, Xanax natural, etc) by default we learned not to put our attention on our self.   We became automated to have others control our attention, Xanax For Sale.

Indirectly we learned not to pay attention to our emotions, Xanax cost, Xanax steet value, what we were feeling,  or what we wanted, Xanax dosage. Buy Xanax from canada, When you become an adult, and you realize that your attention is still governed by all those rules you collected, rx free Xanax, Xanax pharmacy, or that your mind is looking for other people to direct your attention.  You might even feel uncomfortable if it is your own hands with no one telling you what to do, doses Xanax work. Buy Xanax without prescription, You may find your self trapped with your thoughts and beliefs controlling your attention. Xanax For Sale,   Realizing that you are trapped, and don't have control over your attention is one of the first steps towards freedom.

It is only as adults that we have the opportunity to take control over our own attention, Xanax from mexico, Is Xanax safe, notice how we feel, and direct our life in a way we want, Xanax duration. Canada, mexico, india, This is something of an opportunity not typically available to us when we were children.

Oh, buy generic Xanax, Ordering Xanax online, ,, order Xanax from United States pharmacy, Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, and it will take work, and many attempts to free your attention from limiting beliefs and fears, order Xanax from mexican pharmacy. Australia, uk, us, usa, Such is a spiritual warriors training ground.

Specific exercises for gaining control over your own attention can be found at my Self Mastery Course at  Pathway to Happiness. 

 

 , order Xanax online c.o.d. Order Xanax no prescription. Xanax australia, uk, us, usa. Order Xanax online overnight delivery no prescription. Online buy Xanax without a prescription. Xanax reviews. Xanax trusted pharmacy reviews. Xanax without prescription. What is Xanax. Xanax forum.

Similar posts: Buy Rivotril Without Prescription. Buy Cephalexin Without Prescription. Lexotan For Sale. Aleram For Sale. Buy Lamotrigine Without Prescription. Where to buy Mogadon. Where can i find Cialis online. Order Stilnox from mexican pharmacy. Topamax images. Order Bromazepam from mexican pharmacy.
Trackbacks from: Xanax For Sale. Xanax For Sale. Xanax For Sale. Xanax For Sale. Xanax For Sale. Xanax dangers. Buy Xanax online cod. Xanax price. Xanax pharmacy. Xanax no rx.

Temazepam For Sale

Temazepam For Sale, My friend studied political science. He said politics was basically a scramble for power, where can i find Temazepam online. Temazepam dosage, But power is a need to control,, buy no prescription Temazepam online, Get Temazepam, ,, Temazepam natural, Rx free Temazepam, and a need to control is only necessary if you are afraid. So the scramble for power is really just a reaction to fear, Temazepam use. After Temazepam, If we really want to study political science we need to understand fear. Power is just the tail being wagged by the dog.

The irony here is that those that seek power often do so because they are powerless over their fear.

As a spiritual warrior, Temazepam dose, Temazepam price, ,, Temazepam without a prescription, Buy Temazepam online no prescription, you will not develop real personal power until you develop awareness and win over your mind from fear.

 

 

. Temazepam schedule. Temazepam no rx. Temazepam without prescription. Temazepam photos. Temazepam steet value. Real brand Temazepam online. Buying Temazepam online over the counter. Canada, mexico, india. Temazepam street price. Kjøpe Temazepam på nett, köpa Temazepam online. Cheap Temazepam no rx. Temazepam gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release. Order Temazepam from United States pharmacy. No prescription Temazepam online. Temazepam overnight. Where can i buy Temazepam online. Temazepam from canadian pharmacy. Temazepam alternatives. Where to buy Temazepam. Temazepam dangers. Temazepam description. Buy generic Temazepam. Temazepam from mexico. Cheap Temazepam. Is Temazepam addictive. Temazepam duration. Doses Temazepam work. Temazepam trusted pharmacy reviews.

Similar posts: Buy Diazepam Without Prescription. Paxipam For Sale. Buy Sonata Without Prescription. Deltasone For Sale. Topamax For Sale. Order Sonata online overnight delivery no prescription. Atomoxetine mg. Paxipam alternatives. Flomax coupon. No prescription Viagra online.
Trackbacks from: Temazepam For Sale. Temazepam For Sale. Temazepam For Sale. Temazepam For Sale. Temazepam For Sale. Temazepam maximum dosage. Temazepam steet value. Temazepam without a prescription. Fast shipping Temazepam. Temazepam no rx.

Paxipam For Sale

Paxipam For Sale, I don't buy into the Law of Attraction. You don't always attract what is in your consciousness, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal. Paxipam no prescription, You only need one instance to prove a law invalid. Christ had his body beaten and crucified but it wasn't something he attracted because he had it in his consciousness, buy Paxipam online cod. Paxipam interactions,  He was treated that way because of beliefs other people held in their consciousness

Nelson Mandela spent years confined to prison, but not because it reflected his consciousness, order Paxipam online overnight delivery no prescription.  He was held in prison because other people held in their consciousness beliefs of apartheid, Paxipam For Sale. Paxipam wiki,  You don't always attract what is in your consciousness.  Sometimes you are the recipient of what other people express from their  belief system.

If something is a law it operates all the time everywhere, ordering Paxipam online. Paxipam pictures,  The law of gravity is a law because it applies to everything we know everywhere we can measure and test it.  If it only worked sometimes or in some places it wouldn't be a law, where can i cheapest Paxipam online. Paxipam For Sale,   The same with the Law of Attraction. Paxipam results,  It's too inconsistent.  It's only a theory that doesn't hold up under scrutiny, order Paxipam no prescription. Paxipam reviews,   It's not a "Law."  It's a Myth of Attraction.  If it really worked a lot more people would have what the want.

Originally posted at The Law of Attraction is a Myth

Where you can find Guidance and Wisdom for the Spiritual Warrior based in the Four Agreements

, Paxipam treatment. Is Paxipam safe. Where can i buy Paxipam online. Paxipam trusted pharmacy reviews. Fast shipping Paxipam. Is Paxipam addictive. Paxipam australia, uk, us, usa. Order Paxipam from United States pharmacy. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal. Paxipam class. Paxipam long term. Comprar en línea Paxipam, comprar Paxipam baratos. Where can i cheapest Paxipam online. Paxipam for sale. Paxipam cost. Paxipam alternatives. Paxipam without prescription. Paxipam from canada. Real brand Paxipam online. Generic Paxipam. Paxipam dosage. Paxipam no prescription. Order Paxipam no prescription. Order Paxipam online c.o.d. Buying Paxipam online over the counter. Get Paxipam. Paxipam used for. Paxipam description.

Similar posts: Buy Halazepam Without Prescription. Buy Alertec Without Prescription. Stilnox For Sale. Mefenorex For Sale. Buy Lamisil Without Prescription. Temazepam use. Carisoprodol description. Online Zyban without a prescription. Cephalexin trusted pharmacy reviews. Soma reviews.
Trackbacks from: Paxipam For Sale. Paxipam For Sale. Paxipam For Sale. Paxipam For Sale. Paxipam For Sale. Purchase Paxipam for sale. Paxipam mg. Fast shipping Paxipam. Buy Paxipam from canada. Paxipam natural.

Buy Ativan Without Prescription

"Think for your self"    we are told....

It's a thought that we got from someone else.

 

 

Buy Ativan Without Prescription, . Ativan results. Ativan brand name. Purchase Ativan for sale. Ativan recreational. Purchase Ativan online. Buy Ativan from canada. Ativan from canadian pharmacy. Ativan over the counter. Ativan from mexico. Order Ativan from United States pharmacy. Ativan street price. Ativan treatment. Ativan coupon. Order Ativan from mexican pharmacy. Buy Ativan from mexico. Doses Ativan work. Ativan interactions. Online buying Ativan. My Ativan experience. Ativan pics. Where can i buy Ativan online. Online Ativan without a prescription. Where can i find Ativan online. Order Ativan no prescription. Where to buy Ativan. Cheap Ativan. Buy Ativan no prescription. Ativan alternatives. Ativan maximum dosage. Ativan dose. Buy generic Ativan. Ativan pharmacy. Buy cheap Ativan. Ativan class. Get Ativan. Ativan without a prescription. Ativan cost. Ativan from canada. Ativan price. Ativan for sale.

Similar posts: Buy Klonopin Without Prescription. Priligy Dapoxetine For Sale. Buy Ultram Without Prescription. Cephalexin For Sale. Loprazolam For Sale. Famvir samples. Zolpidem maximum dosage. Cheap Prozac. Buy generic Librium. Is Loprazolam addictive.
Trackbacks from: Buy Ativan Without Prescription. Buy Ativan Without Prescription. Buy Ativan Without Prescription. Buy Ativan Without Prescription. Buy Ativan Without Prescription. Ativan dose. Ativan recreational. Buy cheap Ativan no rx. Buy cheap Ativan no rx. Where can i order Ativan without prescription.

Buy Niravam Without Prescription

How do make personal changes in your life?

Buy Niravam Without Prescription, Sometimes making changes in your beliefs, emotions, relationships, and elsewhere in your life is counter-intuitive.

When you are riding a bicycle,,, how do you turn the bike to the right?   You turn the handlebars to the left.    How do you change the negative thoughts in your head?   We'll maybe you get the best results in a similar way.  Don't try to push more positive ones on top of them.  Sometimes when you do you end up going in a negative direction.

Turning the handlebars to the right in order to turn the bike to the right makes logical sense if you aren't aware of the other factors like the gyroscopic effect of precession.   Don't know what you are doing when it comes to changing your beliefs or emotional reactions and you are likely to end up goring in the wrong direction.

The Self Mastery Course can help steer you in the right direction.  Some of the things might seem counter-intuitive, but they will make more sense when you have more awareness of how belief systems operate.

Originally posted at Making Personal Changes

ToltecSpirit.com, a resource for living by the Four Agreements.

 

, Niravam dosage. Kjøpe Niravam på nett, köpa Niravam online. After Niravam. Where can i buy cheapest Niravam online. Comprar en línea Niravam, comprar Niravam baratos. Ordering Niravam online. Niravam mg. Niravam steet value. Niravam forum. Niravam use. Rx free Niravam. Niravam schedule. Niravam reviews. Order Niravam online c.o.d. Niravam canada, mexico, india. Where can i cheapest Niravam online. About Niravam. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal. Niravam no rx. Niravam used for. Niravam duration. Niravam no prescription. Niravam without prescription. Niravam natural. Real brand Niravam online. Taking Niravam. No prescription Niravam online. Online buy Niravam without a prescription. Niravam online cod. Buy no prescription Niravam online. Online buying Niravam hcl. Purchase Niravam online no prescription. Effects of Niravam. Niravam samples. Niravam australia, uk, us, usa. Where can i order Niravam without prescription. Is Niravam addictive. Buy Niravam without a prescription. Buy Niravam without prescription. Niravam gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release.

Similar posts: Buy Xanax Without Prescription. Buy Stilnox Without Prescription. ProSom For Sale. Cialis For Sale. Buy Propecia Without Prescription. Doses Nobrium work. Phentermine without a prescription. Taking Sildenafil Citrate. Purchase Dalmane online no prescription. Dalmane for sale.
Trackbacks from: Buy Niravam Without Prescription. Buy Niravam Without Prescription. Buy Niravam Without Prescription. Buy Niravam Without Prescription. Buy Niravam Without Prescription. Buy cheap Niravam no rx. Online buy Niravam without a prescription. Online buying Niravam hcl. Niravam steet value. Order Niravam from United States pharmacy.