Thank you for the follow up. I’m writing to give you some feedback. Since reading the four agreements and completing both your courses (Basic Self Mastery Series and Advanced Series), everything has changed for me. Incidentally, I found the four agreements by accident, it was a link on a website called F.O.G personality disorders for help with dealing with people like this (I’ve had several in my life including my mother) This help me see that continual trap I was falling into of freely loving and trusting the good in people only to my disadvantage. I struggled with the four agreements at first and I hunted the web for ways of implementing it for a while, I eventually found you and did both your Self Mastery courses.
A bit about me, I am a psychiatric nurse and also a trained counselor, I’m now aware that I went into these professions not only to help other people but to heal myself. The four agreements has superseded all of my five years of training and I have healed my old wounds.
I cannot put into words how much Gratitude I have for what your Self Mastery course has enabled me to do, I am Moved beyond anything I have ever felt before. What you have done is Beautiful.
I am currently starting to build a new life and I’ve decided to change professions. I’m going to be a writer I’m working on my first book now. It’s one where all the main characters have different mental health problems. Look out for it in the next couple of years – it will be done.
I’ve liked you on facebook, have a look through so you can see what I look like.
I love you.
The evangelists stopped by my door this morning. They brought their bibles and were sharing the message of Christ. They were two nice ladies so I spent a few minutes with them. We got to talking about love and one woman said, “That’s what we should do. We should love more.”
Saying that, “We should love more,” implies that we aren’t loving enough. It’s kind of an indirect way of putting your self, or someone else down for not doing what they were supposed to do. I don’t think that was Christ’s message.
His was more like. I love you just the way you are.
Sometimes making changes in your beliefs, emotions, relationships, and elsewhere in your life is counter-intuitive.
When you are riding a bicycle,,, how do you turn the bike to the right? You turn the handlebars to the left. How do you change the negative thoughts in your head? We’ll maybe you get the best results in a similar way. Don’t try to push more positive ones on top of them. Sometimes when you do you end up going in a negative direction.
Turning the handlebars to the right in order to turn the bike to the right makes logical sense if you aren’t aware of the other factors like the gyroscopic effect of precession. Don’t know what you are doing when it comes to changing your beliefs or emotional reactions and you are likely to end up goring in the wrong direction.
The Self Mastery Course can help steer you in the right direction. Some of the things might seem counter-intuitive, but they will make more sense when you have more awareness of how belief systems operate.
A question from a subscriber to my on line course in Self Mastery,,,
I started reading The Four Agreements Companion Book yesterday and noticed that it had exercises like your Self Mastery program. The first exercise in the book was dealing with image of perfection but I’m still about ten sessions away from your Image of Perfection session.
I am aware that the sessions in your program are in an order for a purpose, so I wasn’t sure if it would be okay to continue reading the book or not.
Should I… continue reading the book and do the book exercises with your program? or stop reading the book until I finish your program?
Thanks for your time,
The Four Agreements Companion book is great and I recommend that you read it. However most people I’ve talked to that have attempted the exercises have gotten overwhelmed. They see so much of their belief system so fast without first having control over their attention that they slip into a victim point of view. That induces a feeling of overwhelm, powerlessness, and then hopelessness. Then their inner judge kicks in and berates them for failing. They lose motivation and close the book,,, stop the exercises… defeated. They end up feeling worse than when they started.
So that’s one of the reasons why I don’t start with the Image of Perfection beliefs. It’s also why I have people develop some other skills over their attention and beliefs before trying to change their whole belief system. It’s like eating beef. It’s much easier to do one bite at a time so you don’t get crushed by the whole animal.
By all means read the Four Agreements Companion Book. But, I’d suggest doing the exercises in the Self Mastery before starting the exercises in the book. And if you want to challenge and dissolve your Image of Perfection beliefs, (which is a necessary step to eliminating self judgments) then I suggest the using the steps in the Advanced Series of the Self Mastery program instead of the Four Agreements Companion book approach. In the Advanced Series I not only walk you through changing the Image of Perfection beliefs, but also walk you through the different issues of resistance that come up to letting these go.
After that, you’ll be better prepared to do the exercises suggested in the Four Agreements Companion book.
The challenge of the spiritual warrior is daunting.
A recent email from a client working his way through an emotionally challenging divorce caused me to share with him something about the challenge of a spiritual warrior. In his breakup he is often overwhelmed with anger, sadness and frustration. Outbursts still happen as he does not yet have control over his attention. My reply:
It is a war,,, that’s why we call it being a Warrior.
In the beginning we will lose most, or almost all of the day to day, moment to moment battles for our attention. In a way that is to be expected. The benefit of understanding this is that you will not beat your self up when you fall into a story of drama, anger, or sadness etc. The danger of telling you this is that your judge and victim in your belief system might distort the challenge into being so hard and convince you to not even try.
What will you do with the information that this is a challenge? What will the judge and victim of your parasite do with the same information?
It is a risk to share this with you, and a risk to keep it from you.
My advice… do not measure the progress of your war by the results of a single moment, or even one day.
I was talking with a client who has been working on my Self Mastery course and attended a couple of my events in the past year. He’s done a number of self help and personal development things over the years so he has some experience. He realized that what share is very different from those Motivational Seminars.
He doesn’t really care for those motivational seminars. He said, “What they do is sell back to you your own dream. They do get you excited and pumped up by believing in the possibility of the dream of your life that you hope for. You provide your own dream and all the ingredients of hope, excitement, and motivation about your own dream. You end up paying a lot of money when you are the one providing most of the material.
What does it take to learn the skills to master your attention, focusing your mind, beliefs, and your emotions? These are all skills that lead to Self Mastery
In spite of what the inner judge expects, it will take some time. How much time would you give your self to become good at playing a musical instrument? Perhaps a year with hard work. Even after that you would continue to improve on those skills for years afterwards.
The skills of mastering your mind and emotions deserves that same respect of time.
If this were just the knowledge that comes from reading or memorization then that would be a different matter. But that isn’t the case.