Upon reading about domestication. I had this awful awareness that I will be placing these walls around my own children’s thought by using positive and negative reinforcement . I was wondering if you had any recommendations how to avoid these patterns or if there are any books out there to help . Thank you in advance....... Concerned ParentDear Concerned, This is a question I hear a lot and it often comes from a concerned parent becoming more aware of themselves, and how their actions impact their child's emotions and beliefs that will be with them a long time. First let's explain the term "domestication," which Miguel uses in his book. It means a system of punishments and rewards used to modify other people's behavior. We reward kids with praise, dessert, hugs, and attention. We punish with isolation in their room, time out, scoldings, anger, and criticism. As we become more aware as human beings we realize that some of what we say and do to children may affect them emotionally well into their adult lives. That kind of realization makes us much more vigilant in how we use the power of our word and emotions. There is much more to this issue of applying the tools of the Four Agreements to your relationships, so this is only a short overview. First, the truth is that you have to domesticate your children. It is best if children learn about the world of punishments and rewards of the world from people who love them. If they don't learn of the world of punishments and rewards from you, then the world will teach them those experiences. If they don't follow some basic rules,,,, then the police will eventually catch up with the. Case in point,,, Paris Hilton.
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Are people in love with their suffering?
Sonata For Sale, People are not in love with their suffering. Rather I'd say that either it saddens them, or they hate it. In either case their emotional reaction of hate and sadness to their suffering causes them to suffer more.
What is important to breaking this cycle is the awareness that our emotional reactions are not something that we control. But this very idea that we are not in control,,, this frightens people more. So to avoid their fear they cling to the idea that it is reasonable or justified to hate or feel sad about their condition. In effect they close themselves off to the truth out of fear of acknowledging something that is already happening.
Originally posted at Addicted to Suffering
Published at ToltecSpirit.com Guidance based in the Four Agreements for Spiritual Warriors seeking happiness and love.
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The challenge is not to free your mind.
The challenge is to free your self from your mind.
This post by Gary van Warmerdam at http://www.toltecspirit.com/2010/02/free-your-mind/
Where you can find Wisdom of the Four Agreements for Spiritual Warriors
For practical steps and exercises to inventory and change your own beliefs/agreements there are exercises in the Self Mastery course.
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